As befits an enormous entity that includes both Immigration and Customs Enforcement as well as the Library of Congress, the “federal government” is not a monolith — except for when “the government” is an evil character, looming like Freddie Krueger or distorted shadows in Plato’s cave in the poor minds of its citizens. A fine example of this theory in motion is US Patent 6,630,507, the “federal government’s patent on cannabis.” 

First published in 1999, this patent application is for “cannabinoids as antioxidants and neuroprotectants,” and the filers were scientists working at the federal government’s National Institutes of Health. The fact that “the government” holds a patent on medical use of cannabis, while at the same time “the government” bans cannabis in all forms and (less so every day, but still a real possibility) sends armed agents of the state after grandmothers with joints, is usually interpreted in one of two ways: the government is a giant hypocrite, or the government is planning some nefarious power move to thwart legalization — and monopolize the commercial and medical powers of marijuana.